I spent the last several weeks in Tucson helping my mother transition to “independent living” after she’d suffered a mild heart attack and stroke. 

The first takeway – in Tucson (and probably in most retirement communities) elder care is not a service, it’s an industry. 

Before her discharge from the hospital a case manager told me my mother needed after care. Without hesitation she recommended a company. Let’s call it Total Geriatric Solutions. (Looking back I realize the case worker didn’t offer me a choice). I’d viewed Total Geriatric Solutions (TGS) as a temporary solution until I found a more professional one. These caregivers spent most of the time at my mother’s playing with their smart phones. As time went on one in particular began triangulating my mother and me. When I announced we’d found another company, she said,” You ain’t gotta speak to your daughter. You’re not incapacitated, and you have your rights.” The owners threatened to sue. As to my role as Power of Attorney they said they’d first need to scrutinize the “verbiage” of the legal document before deciding. 

I looked up the owners of TGS on LinkedIn — they appeared all of 30 years-old. Their last jobs were listed as store managers of Best Buy and T-Mobile. They were strictly business. #moms #eldercare #tucson #arizona 

Photo: with my step-brother, mother, and sales lady at the senior living community